Taxonomy of the Platicorn

The Platicorn's scientific, fancy, latin name is Platicornus Prodigalis, which literally means Bizarre Platicorn.

Now, to explain the name. Platicorn is not part of any known (emphasis on the know) Family, Genus, or Species. That is because it is truly one of a kind genetically. The Platicorn, however is part of the Kingdom Animalia, the Phylum Chordata, the Class Mammalia, and the Order Carnivora. I'm not too great at explaining, so I put a link to Wikipedia. >I hope this makes it clearer for you< Your'e welcome.

Now, on a scale from one to ten, how confused are you. If it's above three then I'll consider myself a failure.

I Need to Explain!

As you all know, Thiago Oliveira is a fictional character I created and brought to life with my totally boss acting skills. At least I hope. I just want y'all to know that I do not agree with the ideals of  "Mr. Oliveira". I don't! Platicorn hunting is disgraceful! I just wanted to show you what causes some Platicorn hunters to do what they do, kill Platicorns. Platicorns are in huge danger, and we need to do all we can to make sure these incredible creatures stay alive. 

But we also need to make hunters stop killing Platicorns for their personal safety! Platicorn hunting is extremely dangerous and costly for the hunters. Everything can go wrong extremely fast. And when it goes wrong, some bad shit can happen.

To those who can't see the caption, it says "When hunting trips go bad..."

Platicorn hunting is wrong. I believe this firmly.

The Wise Words of Thiago Oliveira

It takes courage to be a Platicorn hunter, but also hate. Platicorn hunters usually target younglings and Platicorns without poison. People like Olivera may have good intentions, but Platicorns are to be left alone. Revenge never does any good.

I got to admit, though, that watching the entire Brazil-Germany game must have been courageous for a Brazilian like Thiago.

Many Thanks to Jacopo Villani for Videotaping 

Everything you Ever Wanted to Know About Platicorn Sex* (*But were too afraid to ask)

The Platicorn's mating is a very complex ritual, still much of a mystery to biologists. The mating is very strange in very many ways. The female dies after the process, and the male looses his main hunting asset-the venom in the horn. Add to this the fact that only a hatchling survives, and you get yourself a evolutionary disaster... or so it seems.
It all starts in March, when female Platicorns go in heat. A female Platicorn wanders into a male Platicorn's territory. In a matter of days (two to five) the male will find the female. The male will check that the female is in good health then it will tap the females pale green horn with its dangerous poisonous black one. Evolution has given Platicorns very low sexual standards, so if both the male and the female are in good health, the two Platicorns will mate. Ah well. The matting season ends in the final days of April when the female stops her heat.

Female Platicorn Horn

Male Platicorn Horn

If a female is pregnant, it will find a remote and safe place to lay the eggs. After about eight months, the baby Platicorns will hatch. The mom will die two to three hours later. Only one offspring survives because as soon as the hatchlings come out of their eggs, they fight each other to death in order to immediately set into motion the creature's instincts to survive. This gory start to a gory life is actually very useful. The mother will be dead because of the poison, and the "winner" will feast on the already rotting carcass. This may seem brutal to us humans, but it is a survival technique.
That is what Platicorns are all about. Surrviving amongst blood. Since birth, the Platicorn is a natural killer. A killer that belongs in the most frightful and twisted nightmares.

The Killer in the Horn

Platicorn poison is one of the deadliest poisons known on Earth. There is no known cure, though it is a highly researched subject. It is incredibly fast acting, able to bring around death in seconds. It's made in a tiny gland called the Alveois gland at the base of the Platicorn's horn. It squirts out through a tiny channel called the Origus spur when needed. It goes into action when a message from the brain tells the Alveois gland to eject the poison. It then enters the victim's bloodstream where it quickly shuts of most bodily functions. It starts by cutting off blood flow to the limbs, and then proceeds to destroying nerves and brain tissue. Once the victim is dead, the venom flows out through the wound, so the Platicorn doesn't get the venom into its system when eating the prey. It is a highly corrosive substance, but it is fairly pain-free. The effects were first listed in 1871 by British biologist Henry F. Thompson (1816 - 1889) in his book "On the Effects of Venom".

Henry F. Thompson

Mr. Thompson was so ahead of his time not because he wrote down the effects, which had been done earlier, but because he had found the cause! He went to the microscopic level. He was able to prove that the poison caused an allergic reaction, that effected some victims worse than others. He also proved that there finding an antidote was possible, but it could cause another allergic reaction, even worse than the original.It is a very useful book, and is widely used by biologists to this day.
The venom of the Platicorn is very dangerous, with no known cure. Finding an antidote is an enigma for research doctor to this day. It is a true killer in a horn.

A Terrifying Experience

There is nothing more terrifying to see another person be attacked by a Platicorn. They just appear out of nowhere and ram into a person with their poisonous horn. For the unlucky victim, it's all over in seconds, but for a witness, it is a traumatic experience (if, of course, they don't get a heart attack)They often wonder, "Why that person, why not me." Biologist and Neurologist have been trying to figure this out for centuries. Is it just chance, or does the Platicorn plan the attack beforehand. 

Recently, however, biologists at Harvard University have found out that the Platicorn has very similar hunting habits to the Bald Eagles. This is quite credible, since the Platicorn is actually 10% eagle.

A Bald Eagle in Flight

Anyways, I was able to talk to a Brazilian rancher named Thiago Oliveira, who lost a brother Danny Olivera because of a Platicorn in front of his eyes. He said that he was talking to the brother one second, and the next the brother was with a Platicorn horn through his chest. He says he will never forget the sound the brother made. "A squelch," he said "almost like a dart hitting a dart board. His blood soaked everywhere. The trees, the grass, me..." Yes, Platicorn hunts are no clean things. Mr. Oliveira said that he pulled out his shotgun, and shot the Platicorn on the wing. The beast fell over, the brother still on its horn. He shot again, this time in the stomach. He had killed the animal, but the brother was still gone.
What I think the most interesting thing about Platicorn hunts is the strength of the animal. It is a very small animal, but it is able to take down enormous things by stabbing the prey. This is mostly because of the great wing and neck muscles the animal has. It is an extremely aerodynamic animal. It has great eyesight, and can spot a hare from a mile away. The Platicorn is a truly powerful animal, built to kill. Trying to stop it from killing is like trying to prevent a fish from swimming, or a bird from flying.

Save the Platicorn!!

Did you know that the Platicorn is the most endangered animal in the world? There are only 150 specimens living in the wild! Scientists say that if something doesn't change soon, the species will be extinct in 2030! Something needs to be done! 

  The Platicorn is critically endangered

Their problems are caused mostly because of their own adaptations, and they are only made more problematic by human damage to the natural environments. The Platicorn is highly territorial, needing more than 18 acres squared in which to survive. Humans are destroying the precious acres remaining as farmland, and these majestic beasts are finding themselves with no place to go. Another cause of danger to the Platicorns is in the genetic build of the species itself. Once it mates, it looses all its deadly poison, leaving it more or less vulnerable to other Platicorns and some other extremely viscus predators (Of course, it still is quite powerful).

To save the Platicorn, we all need to do our share! Firstly, and most importantly, protect the Platicorn's habitats! Don't pollute swamps and forests. Recycle and reuse paper, and be knowledgeable to the problems in the enviroment!

We need to do all we can to save the Platicorn!!